There was a time when some of us would gladly put our asses up in the air for Jean-Claude Van Damme, but nowadays we'd only raise our butts to fart in his fug face. His FACE! He looks like the bastard love child of the Hunchback of Notre Dame and a downsy iguana. Jean-Claude still thinks he's got the shit, because he's still shamelessly hitting on girls old enough to be his daughter. Jean-Claude is infamous for being a manwhore who can't keep his cheesy peen in his surfer pants, so it's no surprise that he hit on a 22-year-old reporter from Newsweek during an interview.

Sarah Ball talked to 48-year-old Jean-Claude about his new movie "JCVD" and the conversation quickly turned creepy. Oh and JC is currently married to wifey #5:

Beautiful? Why?
I really opened myself up in "JCVD." I peeled back the skin of the fruit, cut the pulp and then took that very hard seed. In this film I cut that hard seed, and inside that seed was a kind of liquid cream substance of the man I am, or the woman you are.

OK —
It was like being naked—I would love to be naked in front of you.

Well, I —
Not being naked being naked. I say such things in Hong Kong and they thought I was being a crazy Frenchman. Being naked of protection.

So you've no regrets at all?
Believe me—I've done very good stuff and very crazy stuff, and I don't regret the crazy stuff. So are you in New York?

Yes, I am.
And are you 27, or 32?

I 'm 22.
Oh, fuck. That is very young. Will you come to the premiere?

I don't know. When is it?
I don't know. You will wear all black, a black dress and high heels?

Uh —
You can come find me, I will be the one with the very broad shoulders, dark hair and a simple suit. We can have some champagne, you and me.

Jean-Claude forgot to say one very important thing. He forgot to say, "You are very elegant." Did he not learn anything from Dimitri the Lover?!

With all that being said, I'd still put on a black dress, slip on some black high heels, peel the skin off of Jean-Claude's fruit and cut his very hard seed. That sounds like some Lorena Bobbitt shit.

"It's tribal," the singer says of the new ink on her hand. "It represents strength and love"

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A first look at the Nike Air Crazy Force 1 sneaker and toy.

From: highsnobiety

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Yesterday Angelina Jolie appeared on GMTV to talk her new film The Changelling, her family and simultaneous breastfeeding (obviously). If you liked listening to Angie having a little chinwag about family life, then you are going to simply love hearing Brad’s unique take on life chez Jolie-Pitt.

So why not have a little peek of Brad talking to Oprah Winferey about why Shiloh likes to be called John (that doesn’t bode well for her future), the difficulties of being a celebrity parent, and Zahara’s love of dog poo….

Fast food chain Taco Bell has countersued rapper 50 Cent in response to a $4 million dollar lawsuit the rapper filed against the company in July.   50 Cent, born Curtis Jackson, sued Taco Bell and the company’s CEO Greg Creed, accusing the corporation of trademark infringement for using his name and likeness during a promotional campaign to sell tacos.   The rapper claims consumers were duped into thinking that he endorsed the brand last July, when Creed sent out letters to various...(read more)

Jennifer Garner headed into a studio in LA yesterday afternoon while news broke of a scary situation for the actress and her family. Garner was recently granted a temporary restraining order against a man who has allegedly been stalking Jennifer since 2002. Garner made a declaration saying she worried for her and her family's safety especially during the past few years when he has repeatedly shown up at their house and followed her around the country.

In addition to her statement, she handed over many love letter and birthday cards from 36-year-old Steven Burky, and her security guard confirmed Burky tried repeatedly to approach Garner at events. The alleged stalker is now not allowed to go within 100 yards of Garner, her family, or staff. There will be a hearing later today to see if the restraining order will become permanent.

We can't imagine how scary this is for Jennifer and Ben especially with Violet and another baby on the way. Hopefully after tomorrow his harassment will soon be a distant memory for Jennifer and the rest of the Garner-Affleck family.

Splash News Online

X Factor judge Cheryl Cole got more than she bargained for when she joined the Girls Aloud ladies at the Dogs Trust in Uxbridge this morning. The band arrived bright and early to promote Nintendo’s new Nintendog game, which gives the player a virtual dog to look after. Lets’ just hope they virtual ones aren’t as rowdy as Cheryl’s.

Barcelona based designers Harry&Camila have created the BCN Stool for the Italian furniture manufacturer Kristalia.

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