There are two major things that concern me in these photos of Britney Spears leaving a recording studio yesterday: 1. The lack of a bra. Whenever you're able to see Britney's nipples through her shirt, it's pretty much a given the crazy switch has been set to "ARGH!" Don't worry, pissing your pants is a perfectly natural reaction. Anyone got a mop? 2. The whistling. Only two types of people whistle: Serial killers and elves. That means one of these is the characteristic of the personality Britney is operating on. Or it could be both which explains why she just murdered a homeless person then tried to bake cookies in a tree.

Rihanna has been spotted recently wearing an insane diamond ring (above) sparking all kinds of speculation that she's engaged to long-time boyfriend Chris Brown. Here's a little theory I cooked up: SHE'S FILTHY RICH. That said, I included pics of Rihanna performing at the B96 Jingle Bash in Chicago, so you can formulate your own scientific evaluation using the most pertinent leather-clad facts. Nobel prize committee, I'll be awaiting your call.

These are not shots of Courtney Love on the set of her new movie Flapper Girl: A Retard's Story. This is just Courtney Love out in public yesterday presumably searching for some tin cans to rub together. Who knows? I also couldn't help but notice Courtney is working on some Madonna-esque arms there, but unlike the Crypt One, she's doing things the old-fashioned way: With heroin.

AnnaLynne McCord of 90210 took her death navel to South Beach this weekend with her boyfriend Twilight star Kellan Lutz. Granted, AnnaLynne is in a bikini, but is she really a celebrity? Or am I just playing God asking that question? I don't like to play God. Except that one time I turned my cat into a toaster. *RAWR* *KABOOM* Oh, nice. Pop Tarts are done.

These are shots of Nip/Tuck star Julian McMahon vacationing in Australia this weekend. I wonder if he's had work done. Ha! Get it? Nip/Tuck. Work done. I'm adorable. But on a serious note, hats off to Julian for wearing the closest thing you can get to going full Speedo. I tried to pull off a similar look once; There were lawsuits.

Tara Reid has already checked out of rehab after only three weeks of treatment, according to People:

"She checked out on Saturday," says the source. "She's doing well. The whole family is very positive about this being the new beginning for her."
Despite Reid being in treatment since only last month, her family and friends are optimistic about her future. "They are taking steps to do everything they can to help Tara keep on the right track," adds the source.

I don't care what People's source/Tara's publicist says, three weeks is nowhere near enough time to cure her level of alcoholism. We're talking about a woman who once ate through a locked door to get to an almost empty bottle of Stoli's. Don't remember that story? That's because it's happening right now, and shit, she smells the beer in my liver. Look, Tara, a martini! *dives out window* EDIT: Tara's publicist is telling E! News "word of Reid's departure is premature." Which means she broke out and robbed a liquor store. I know showbiz talk.

Seen here with a post-pregnancy Ashlee Simpson on New Year's Eve, Pete Wentz laments about his current online reputation as the baggiest douche of all douches, according to the latest issue of Blender:

"I was letting the blogs get to me. It's semi-frustrating when your name actually becomes a synonym for douche bag. I'm paranoid pretty much all the time. I can take three Xanax bars and not feel a thing."

Truth be told, he doesn't look great. Dark bags ring his eyes and his skin has a waxy, jaundiced pallor.

Dear Pete Wentz, First off, it takes a real man to admit he reads about himself all day on the Internet. Everyone does it - except for me because I'm awesome. Lumberjack awesome. Anyway, now that I know you read this site, I came up with a revolutionarly solution that will make bloggers stop calling you a douchebag: Quit looking like Pete Wentz. BOOM! Solved. However, in the unlikely event that doesn't work, I've also developed a fool-proof contingency plan where you pay me $1 million to have sex with Ashlee Simpson. Because honestly, Pete, who can put a price on peace of mind? Not counting the one I just came up with. (I prefer cash and to be called "Papa Bangarang.") Always looking out, The Superficial Writer

Holly Madison had a milestone on New Year's Day when she introduced her parents to Criss Angel. It's the first time her folks have ever met one of her boyfriends, according to E! Online:

The couple was spotted with Madison's parents, Steve and Patsy Madison, having dessert at Fix Restaurant & Bar at the Bellagio in Las Vegas, according to a source.
They enjoyed warm brownie cake, a cappuccino milk shake and chocolate coffee cake. Angel also requested a hot chocolate from the Bellagio's hotel bar.
The Mindfreak illusionist picked up the tab.

Things, however, turned sour when Steve Madison realized his daughter wasn't playing a joke and was seriously going to marry "Charm Necklace Houdini over here." When Holly refused to go back to "a respectable life juggling old man balls for cash," he disowned her that night at Starbucks over cafe lattes, soy, no whip. Criss was also there sipping a Frappucino until Steve kicked his ass in the parking lot then promised to do this again "real soon" over Easter.

These are pics of a barely bikini-clad Amy Winehouse in St. Lucia yesterday with a new boyfriend. Let's just go ahead and assume this guy is blind, has no sense of smell, on acid, bipolar, a clone of Pauly Shore and probably gay (If not, he's gonna be.). But even then I still don't get it. Maybe Amy's digging gold bars out of her crotch, who knows? I stopped looking after my retinas pulled a gun. NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that aren't for the faint of heart. Or anyone with a heart in general.

Here's Adrian Grenier celebrating the New Year with a bunch of dolphins at Sea World in Australia. Can someone, please, tell me what thought process ended with this guy being cast as Hollywood heartthrob Vincent Chase in Entourage? HBO EXEC 1: Okay, check it. We'll cast the lead with someone who is attractive yet completely not-attractive at the same time. Women won't know whether they want to sleep with this guy or put their vaginas in a lockbox. HBO EXEC 2: Why would we do that? HBO EXEC 1: We're HBO, bitch! HBO EXEC 2: Can't argue with that. HBO EXEC 1: Exactly. Next item, who's in favor of green-lighting a show about Hare Krishnas who operate exactly like the Mafia? HBO EXEC 2: You mean, like The Sopranos? HBO EXEC 1: Bingo. HBO EXEC 2: Aye!