Then do not CLICK HERE!

Paula Abdul's apparently been working on a "secret" plan for a daytime talk show.

Great idea, right? Just what we've all been clamoring for!

We didn't know Paula could keep secrets, we thought that everything just falls out of her booze lips - albeit incoherently.

While Paula's been strong-arming her American Idol bosses for a fatter salary for the 9th season, she's been on the phone with her other arm with CBS/Paramount Network Television developing a talk show.

What could Abdrool possibly want to slur about to the world? We imagine it'd be something like the Tyranasaurous Banks's show, but with even more absurd self-infatuation. And crying. Tyranasaurous Banks can't do that - lizards can't cry!

Abdrool's asking for $10 million from AI, scheming to juggle both her judging and her yapping duties if she gets it. If not, she's got her talk show to fall back on…until they cancel it.

A source close to Paula says that studio execs think she's perfect for a talk show because "Paula is unpredictable and not afraid to speak her mind," even if her mind is half drowned in a little midday Vicodin cocktail.

[Image via WENN.]

As we mentioned earlier this year, singer Charlotte Church and that hot rugby player boyfriend of hers are expecting another child together.

She already gave birth to a baby girl back in September of 2007.

And now she can't wait to pop out her second baby. Literaly.

Charlotte was set to give birth last Tuesday at home. The 22 year-old says she has yet to receive any labor pains and she hates the idea of being induced in a hospital.

Church has even been eating a lot of curry in the hopes of speeding up her labor.

A source says, "Charlotte's not had any twinges yet so she's trying all the old wives' remedies. She's hoping the curry, pineapples and raspberry tea will work and has put the midwife's number in her mobile so she can act fast when things happen."

Let's hope she gives birth soon - for her sake!

[Image via Mr. Paparazzi.]

"Mother charged with not dressing baby for cold"

They're coming after you next, TomKat! Read the article accompanying this headline…after the jump.

[Image via Ramey Pix.]

Mother charged with not dressing baby for cold

A Nova Scotia woman accused of not properly dressing her nine-month-old girl for the cold is due to appear in court next week.

Bridgewater police have charged the 26-year-old woman with criminal negligence causing bodily harm.

Police launched an investigation after someone reported that a woman was carrying a baby outside at around 4:30 a.m. on Dec. 27.

It was –9 C at the time, and the baby wasn't dressed for the weather, police were told.

Bridgewater police said the baby wasn't responsive when officers arrived.

The little girl was treated in hospital for injuries to one hand and released to the care of her father.

The woman is scheduled to appear in Bridgewater provincial court on Jan. 14.

On Barbara Walters Sirius radio show yesterday, The View host and her producer, Bill Geddie, revealed that…..

Despite being a subject of ridicule in Kathy Griffin's stand-up routine, the pair are now open to having the flame-haired comedian back on The View, after she's been banned from appearing for quite some time.

Babs also talked about how Griffin was once considered to be one of the replacement hosts on the show, but that idea was quickly nixed. It wasn't about the money, Walters said. It was the fact that Kathy was publicly badmouthing the show she wanted to be a part of.

We doubt she'll make that same mistake again!

[Image via WENN.]

Our first book ever, Red Carpet Suicide: A Survival Guide On Keeping Up With The Hiltons, is out today. Finally!!!!

If you haven't done so yet, CLICK HERE to buy a copy right now. It's a fabulous read, which will have you laughing out loud. Plus, it also makes a great gift for that gossip-lover in your life!

And, to celebrate our book release, we will be appearing today, Tuesday, on the Today with Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb between 10-11 A.M.

If you're in New York City, we'll also be on Good Day New York this morning at 9:00 A.M.

And, our first book signing is tonight in NYC at 7 P.M. at Borders Columbus Circle! CLICK HERE for details on all of our signings and the cities we're hitting up.

Yes, we will most definitely be taking pictures!!!!

It's such an exciting day. We are thrilled to be sharing this with you!

xoxo

P.

Even though the usually reputable and reliable Access Hollywood reported on Monday that BiHan and Ronson have broken up - and Lohan even reportedly moved out of the home she shared with saMAN - that appears not to be the case. Or so Linsanity would like us to believe!

LezLo just took to her blog.

This is what she has to say!

"RUMORS

little piece of TRUE information:

we did NOT break up!

access hollywood, extra, et, every tabloid, page six… AND every GOSSIP website. Get your stories straight please. It's really annoying to have all of your friends emailing you saying, i saw, i read, etc… NOT TRUE

:) xoxox Lindsay

Currently listening :
Rumors
By Lindsay Lohan
Release date: By 2005-01-11"

And there you have it!

Aren't you glad she set the record, urggh, straight??!!

[Image via WENN.]

Oprah might be depressed, y'all!

Don't be sad, Queen O. The universe will weep for you!

Oprah premiered her "Best Life" week on Monday, with an admission that she had "given up" on herself last year.

Although the Queen herself did not say she had been depressed, adviser and fitness expert Bob Greene suggested that the Queen might have been suffering from mild depression.

Just so you know, a fitness expert is not a qualified professional, no matter how many psychology books he's read!

After speaking with the Queen last year, Greene said, "I looked in her eyes, and she wasn't there. She was very vacant and distracted. It was alarming to me. I think I felt she was losing her zest for life, and that was one of the saddest moments."

If the Queen is sad, there's no reason to go on!

While trying to balance all the different aspects of her empire, the Queen had trouble sleeping and she began suffering from heart palpitations, and that's when she began packing on the pounds.

Then she belatedly realized she had a thyroid problem, but that didn't make her any happier. "All this year I've been hiding my body because I didn't want you to see it. Here I am one of the most visible people in the world, trying to hide my body."

But the Queen O has resolved to have a brighter, healthier, more balanced 2009, saying, "When you love yourself enough, you take care of yourself. You have to make yourself a priority."

Stay strong, O!

[Image via WENN.]

On Monday, flanked by Secret Service, Michelle Obama accompanied daughters Malia and Sasha to their first day of school at Chelsea Clinton's alma mater, Sidwell Friends.

The Obamas arrived in D.C. more than two weeks ahead of the inauguration so the girls could start classes alongside the other students, who returned from winter break today, Monday.

The soon-to-be first lady has previously said her children are her first priority and that she wanted their kids off on the right foot by having them start class with everyone else.

Michelle and the girls have been in D.C. since Saturday.

President-elect Obama arrived 'home' on Sunday night.

The Obamas are resting their hats at the fancy Hay-Adams hotel until they can move in to the White House.

That Bush blowhard won't let them move in early!

[Image via Getty Images.]

Check out (above) a sneak peek at Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez's new Disney Channel movie, Princess Protection Program.

Thoughts?????