Tommy Girl can't be anymore obvious. He should have just put Suri in a glass display case, placed spotlights all around her and shouted "Step right up!" on a megaphone. Now, the last time I held a baby it threw up on my face, so I don't hold one often, but I'm pretty sure this is not how you normally do it. Suri better be getting paid double for this kind of fuckery.

On the plus side, she has a sippy cup instead of a bottle! Alert the fucking world! At this rate, she'll graduate to a regular cup by her 18th birthday! Actually, I think Suri is going from the sippy cup straight to the bottle thanks to the fact that she's being raised by a pack of crazies.

And Tommy's platform Easy Spirits are seriously sexy.

Jennifer Aniston is laughing at the pregnancy rumors and downplaying her comments about Angelina Jolie. In the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly (via Eonline), Jennifer says it was Vogue magazine that made a big deal out of her now famous...

In the new December issue of DETAILS magazine, Pete Wentz opens up a bit more about his life and druggy past.

So, just how did Wentz feel when he found out he was going to be a dad?

Pete says, "I was like, 'Oh my God, this might be the worst possible time to have this conversation. I was definitely scared, just thinking, This is something that's going to exist for the rest of your life and you can't fuck it up…It was a happy accident. But I think that certain things happen for a reason in your life, and maybe it was time to put the wild child in the cage."

Well, at least their baby was a happy accident. Wonder if Jamie Lynn Spears feels that way about her "accident"?

As for his childhood, Pete says, "I was diagnosed with ADHD and depression and, I don't know, you name it­—whatever happened to be the trendy disorder that week."

But as time went by Pete started suffering from severe panic attacks and drug use/abuse became more frequent.

He started taking pills which were "zombifying, you're, like, drooling. For a while, I was a total drugstore cowboy. I had The Pill Book, which is awesome because I could learn every shape and number, and then be like, 'Those are the blue footballs, those are the bars …'"

He even overdosed one time while parked outside a Best Buy and was finally persuaded by family and friends to go to the emergency room.

Thankfully, he was able to quit, saying, "After Heath Ledger, I was just like, Man, this is not going to end up good…I realized I found my soul mate, and it made me want to be a better person. Now, with the baby, I want to be the best dad I can be."

We like our Wentz happy and drug-free!

[Image via WENN.]

Looks like she wasn't stalking Benji last night! Now that Stavros has been photographed with a new girl and she's annoyed Benji, who do you think she'll jump on go for next? var entry_id = "7672"; var entry_tags = "Apple,Paris...

Brad Pitt still has some work to do in New Orleans before he can attend to those areas of America hardest hit by the ravages of UncoolGate. Meanwhile, the woman who started it all—this week's EW covergirl, Jennifer Aniston—emerges a stronger woman, if forever a far less trusting magazine-profile subject:

"I was just surprised that Vogue would go so tabloid," she says, insisting the so-called slam was taken out of context. "I was bummed. But you almost expect it. Big deal. Done. Next."

"Surprised that Vogue would go so tabloid?" Really, Jennifer? The same Vogue who hired Sean "Sloppy Seconds" Avery as their summer intern even though editor-in-chief Miranda Priestly knew damn well the left winger could barely tell his Proenza Schoulers from his Yigal Azrouëls? Next time don't get played so easily, silly girl— Vogue lives for high drama, and you delivered it to them on an uncool silver platter. You just think about that while we go into the other room and watch some ESPN, because we're feeling really, really gay.

• Aniston on Motherhood: "It's Something I Long For" [E Online]

It wouldn't be a year in the celebrity life without a few tropical vacations spent soaking up the sun. An exotic trip is also the perfect time to show off those bodies that the stars spend so much time working on. So tell us — who has the best bikini body of 2008?

Who Has the Best Bikini Body of 2008?

Bar Refaeli — She puts the hot in hot pink.

Rihanna — Who needs a matching bikini when you look that good?

Jennifer Aniston — She basically invented the bikini body.

Lindsay Lohan — She's flaunting it for a reason!

Jessica Alba — She got her sexy body back so fast after baby!

Blake Lively — There's definitely something gossip-worthy here.

Britney Spears — She's finally got those famous abs back!

Fergie — All that working out clearly pays off.

We smell more "for-reality-TV" drama brewing here!

Heidi Montag's mother is "devastated" and opening up about her daughter's recent "marriage" to Spencer Pratt.

Montag's mom, Darlene Egelhoff, tells Us Weekly that Spencer is "manipulative and seems to have power over Heidi."

Mommy's also hurt that Heidi blew off Thanksgiving to spend it with Spencer in Cabo San Lucas.

But, even better, Darlene thinks Spencer drugged Heidi to marry her!!!!

She says, "I would like to see a blood test from Mexico. It wouldn’t surprise me if he had her drugged. Spencer has tried to cut everyone out of her life. I've been honest with Heidi, and it's caused our relationship to decline. I'm more devastated about that than the marriage, because I'm confident the marriage won't work out."

Ouch!

Darlene says she and Heidi used to be inseparable. "She was my Velcro, always attached to me. I want the best for my daughter - and he's definitely not it. I think Spencer wants to possess Heidi more than marry her. I think it's the biggest mistake Heidi's ever made."

As for Spencer, Darlene adds, "God says love your enemies, but I never expected it to be my son-in-law."

And when asked how long she thinks her daughter's marriage will last, Darlene responds, "Six months."

Oh, come on, we say at least nine!

Heidi says she didn't invite her mom to the wedding because she was "starting so much drama. She should be happy I found someone I love. Some people go their entire lives without finding that."

How rehearsed.

What does the ever poetic Prat have to say about "Stalker Mom" as he likes to call her?

"I think her mom needs to take a real fat chill pill and be happy for her daughter."

You hear that??? Take a chill pill!

Nanee nanee boo boo!!!

So it's time for Kid Rock to serve his sentence after getting into a brawl at a Georgia Waffle House last year. But, the musician isn't happy with getting his community service request denied.

On his official website, Kid goes off on the judge for denying his request of serving his 80 hours due by performing for the U.S. troops stationed in the Middle East.

The singer says, "Apparently he thinks it's more important that I do something else rather than sing, shake hands, take pictures and spend time with the men and women who put themselves in harms way to protect the very freedom he and all of us live by."

Seriously, WTF?!?!

Kid Rock has already gone to the Middle East to perform for the troops a few times. He obviously likes doing it and getting the press. Why the hell would a judge order his community service to be performing for others?

As for Georgia State Court Judge Alvin T. Wong, he denied the request and said Kid Rock would preform for the troops "even if he was not under a sentence to perform community service. Besides, giving him credit for something he would otherwise love to do in front of a camera completely defeats the punitive purpose of performing community service."

Obviously!

Though self-absorbed Kid sees it differently, and wrote on his site, "I really take it as a slap in the face, and really have trouble thinking of a better way to 'serve the community,' especially at Christmas time. Either way this judge will leave a bad taste of ignorance in my mouth, but I don't let the DEVIL get me down, so WHATEVA!!" He then proceeded to put the judge's name, address, office phone number, and email on his blog.

Seriously, if anyone were to email the judge, please praise him for not giving in to stupid celebrity demands. No one is above the law!

[Image via WENN.]

Spotted: That Girls Gone Wild guy groping poor, defenseless Kourtney Kardashian the other night... And that's not all! He was also spotted with this chick: Girls, beware! var entry_id = "7675"; var entry_tags = "Adam Levine,Apple,Avril Lavigne,Brandon Davis,Foxtail,Joe Francis";...