Sean Penn and Josh Brolin appeared together at last night's New York Film Critic Circle awards dinner, where their Milk characters' rivalry reportedly gave way to a more collegial, tipsy thaw.

Penn and Brolin presented each other's prizes for Best Actor and Supporting Actor for Milk, with one attendee noting that the latter star "perhaps unnecessarily mentioned he'd been drinking." We're not sure if that admission came before or after his broadside against NYT theater critic Ben Brantley ("Honestly, I hate that motherfucker. ... And I don't think he's a good writer"), but its awareness nicely underscored his Penn introduction that followed:

"Quite an actor, Sean Penn, quite an actor. [Pause] Amazing. [Pause] And now I'm an asshole. Like Russell Crowe. Because I'm not as smart as Sean. [Pause] Quite an actor. [Pause] Amazing actor. I've loved you in Milk, I thought what you did with that role was incredible. We've known you as an actor who doesn't smile very much. And the fact that you smiled as much as you did in this film is amazing. Truly incredible. You are an amazing actor. You are going to get the Oscar. Because you smiled so much."

As expected, Penn's own ball-busting praise for Brolin — "I always wrote him off as a handsome square-jawed actor...There's no one who's as big a nightmare as him. ... No one has much endurance at night and as little during the day" — had the venue security guards' hands on their tasers. But! Crisis averted, at least until Sunday's open-bar Golden Globe Awards. We're pulling for you, Josh!

• At New York Film Critics Circle, Brolin being Brolin [Risky Biz Blog]

Aside from Fisher Stevens, everyone knows that Jeremy Piven's play-quitting sushi defense is bogus (but delicious!). However, E! is now alleging that Piven never actually quit—he was fired.

That's according to E!'s Ted Casablanca...wait! Don't click away! A productive intern has made the usually incomprehensible gossip guru semi-intelligible—just look:

"He was fired," says an integral player in the David Mamet play, about the banal evils of Hollywood. Yep, according to our pivotal insider, J.P. got booted for diva-like behavior. Like what? Like showing up two minutes before showtime, being a general d-bag toward the cast and crew and sending his understudy on if he didn't like the size of the audience.

"He wanted out of his contract for about a month—he was trying to get out of it," says another major Plow player, claiming the Emmy-winner was "disappointed" doin' it live night after night. The mercury poisoning excuse was a way out to save face.

Since we would never impeach Casablanca's credentials and the stories of Piven misbehavior certainly sound true, we've got some advice for the producers of Speed-the-Plow: if you're planning on firing your most famous actor, maybe use the meantime to line up a backup actor with more star power than Norbert Leo Butz. You coulda had the guy from Wings! No, the other guy. No, not Shalhoub! No, not the Sideways one, either. Steven Weber!

• Was Jeremy Piven Fired? [E!]

As if nearly exposing Lisa Rinna's snickerdoodle to a horrified America wasn't enough, Richard Simmons's campaign of meal-dealing terror continues to devastate Manhattan.

In addition to reliving the scissor-kicking devastation, we offer two more shocking acts perpetrated by Simmons on live TV in recent hours: On CNN's American Morning, Simmons offered a demonstration of the advanced shrimping techniques that helped him curb his cravings for actual shellfish, melting away the pounds and lowering his cholesterol in the process. And finally, a visit to the Fox News studios, the Jewfroed weight-loss guru molests a number of camera operators and crew—an act of personal violation so heinous, it's sure to be met with swift, concrete-boot retribution from the Teamsters union. [CNN American Morning]

ZACHARY QUINTO, TV's Sylar and Spock in the upcoming J. J. Abrams Star Trek installment, out for a quiet Italian dinner with a friend at Prizzi's Piazza on Franklin. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

The new year brings a new ploy for Roman Polanski's legal restoration, which his attorneys now argue should be moved out of the polluted, prejudiced Los Angeles mire.

Polanski officially sought a dismissal of his 1978 statutory-rape case last month, when he cited the judicial trangressions laid out in the documentary Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired as the basis for his exoneration. Awaiting a ruling on that motion — which the LA district attorney declared useless until the fugitive director returned to the United States, likely obligating him to prison time — Polanski's lawyers have since determined that LA is the last place where their client would get a fair shake.

So Monday brought his latest motion to recuse the Los Angeles Superior Court from any involvement in reviewing the case; the publicity-whore judge who convicted Polanski may be dead, the reps say, but something about him sticking his dick in a 13-year-old may inflame the long memories of a legal system he defied by disappearing to France before his sentencing 30 years ago:

The prejudice became evident, the filing says, when a public information officer, Alan Parachini, told The Los Angeles Times in an e-mail message last month that the court’s standing position was that dismissal could not be considered unless Mr. Polanski returned to the United States.

The filing on Monday by Mr. Polanski’s lawyers said the court violated rules of judicial conduct by ruling publicly on a crucial issue that had never been addressed, as Mr. Polanski had never sought dismissal in the past.

The alternative? Who knows? We'd try Turks and Caicos first, where even vicious, vagina-kicking catfights have been scrubbed from the system as recently as last week. Las Vegas could work, too; they're kind of strict, but any court that serves sentencing-day smoothies can't be all bad. Suggestions?

• Polanski Requests New Setting for Hearing [NYT]

· It's all fun and games until tomorrow morning, when Matt Lauer interrupts a sober interview with a Palestinian spokesperson by shrieking, "I'm gonna be sick—there's a Richard Simmons-juice stain on this couch!"

· Lionsgate is buying TV Guide Network and TV Guide for $255 million; stay tuned for breathless press release announcing their rebranding as The Tyler Perry Network and Madea's Favorite TV Stories.
· Speaking of magical negros, here's everything you always wanted to know about them but were afraid to ask.
· Apple unveils the new Macbook Wheel. Ooh, shiny new toys! We want! We want!
· Sad news: veteran reality show producer Kathy Wetherell was killed in car accident in Arizona on December 20. Some of her credits included The Real World, The Bachelor, Flavor of Love, and Charm School.
· Nip/Tuck's sixth season premieres tomorrow, in which we'll be introduced to a fellow who'd like a Tyrannosaurus Prick-reduction. This could make for awkwardness among those of you who have recently moved back in with your parents.
· Bill O'Reilly is gay. (Also: His vagina is about 4 feet wide with razor sharp teeth.)

After Access Hollywood reported on the breakup between Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson (and TMZ independently confirmed it) one might expect Lohan and her rep to put up a high-profile, united front of denial.

Strange then, that Lohan would choose not People or Us but Life & Style to issue her exclusive rebuttal (apparently, Pennysaver was not available). "We didn't break up. No," Lindsay is quoted as saying. "People need to stop creating drama, it's gross."

Sadly, Lohan's own publicity team didn't get the memo. E! spoke to Lohan's unnamed rep (we're guessing Leslie Sloane Zelnick) and asked whether the rumors were true. Instead of a blunt "Absolutely not," the rep answered with a world-weary "I don't know." Not adequite, Leslie. Not nearly adequite.

• Life & Style exclusive: Lindsay: Sam and I are still together! [Life & Style]

Choke on the history, America: After 62 days of counts and recounts, a Saturday Night Live alumnus has officially been elected to represent an actual state in the US Senate.

The Minnesota Canvassing Board today announced that Franken's typically self-affirming holiday prophecy has been realized: The satirist defeated Republican incumbent Norm Coleman by a total of 225 votes out of 2.9 million cast, sending him to Washington in just enough time to make the new session of Congress tomorrow.

Coleman's camp stuck a knife in the moving van's tires, meanwhile, arguing that the outgoing senator was treated unfairly and announcing it would file suit Tuesday for the inclusion of 654 absentee ballots left out of the most recent recount. Alas, it's too late; we aren't too keen on opening the door for a Tracy Morgan Congressional campaign either, but a new era has proven that democracy's bells just can't be unrung.

• Democrat wins Minnesota Senate seat in recount [Reuters]

· Robert Francis at the Echo, Rocco Deluca starts their Spaceland residency, and Gay Beast are at Pehrspace.

· Garage Comedy night at El Cid offers a place for denizens of LA's always thriving alternative comedy scene to perform, get drunk, then have sex with each other.
· The Armando Show at iO West will have you giggling at what the LAT describes as "free-associative repetition [melding] into Zen-like flights of fancy." We think that's fancy-person talk for improv comedy!

Stronger for having survived a false cancer diagnosis (as represented by the looped cougar-skin ribbon on her lapel), rising Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kim Zolciak has added her voice to the ever-expanding celebrity blogosphere.

Kim Zolciak Online launched modestly enough, with some candid snapshots of the aspiring country singer vacationing in the Bahamas. She writes:

"Recently I vacationed with my two girls for the Christmas holiday's in the Bahamas and found some photos that someone snapped of me while at the beach."

Every year we stay at the gorgeous Cove Atlantis Resort and this year was a bit different because the series on Bravo was so publicized. It was fantastic meeting many of my international fans while in the Caribbean.

Next up for Zolciak: An appearance at Sundance. That's it. Now we have to go. Long Island Iced Teas at Harry O's are on us, Kim!

• kimzolciakonline.com via Videogum